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THINGS THAT DON'T WORK #12 & #13
#12. Punks “organizing” any type of anti-capitalism/government “revolution” in the interest of “socal change.” Riiiiiiggggght…oy oy..don’t bother, you weiners.
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#13. My Uncle Sal. He seriously has not worked an honest day’s work since ‘88. He spends his day watching “Falcon’s Crest” re-runs on VHS cassettes that my Aunt Betty taped back in the day. When he is not pre-occupied with watching “Falcon’s Crest”, he spends his days TALKING about “Falcon’s Crest”. You wouldn’t think that a man born and raised in Des Moines Iowa would be so into the feuding factions of the wealthy Channing/Gioberti family in the Californian wine industry, but that is where you would be wrong. As a side note, he also polishes old war medals when Aunt Betty has people over. My Uncle has never been in the military, let alone an actual war. Aunt Betty tells me that the medals were bought at the same swap meet where they bought the Ab Roller that sits in the basement. You know the one….it’s right by the Snoopy Sno-Cone machine and the Trivial Pursuit genus edition with all the missing pieces.
